About Ainur ElmgrenAge: a quarter of a century Sex: XX Gender: female Race: Against time Ethnicity: Allright, if you insist... 62,5% Finnish, 25% Mishär Tatar, 12,5% Kale ( Finnish Gypsy). Citizen of Sweden. Horoscope: Pisces, year of the Goat Occupation: Ph.D. student at the Department of History, Lund University. Freelance cartoonist and illustrator. Writes for Bild & Bubbla magazine. Nourishment: rye bread, mediterranean yoghurt, piroshki, peremech, sushi, octopodes, honey, tea, wasabi, chocolate, halloumi, broccoli, vodka, avocado, natto, any combination of the above. Turnons: The 1920's, Orcs, Finns, Russia, Socialist memorabilia, helicopters, the Cthulhu mythos, chocolate, the German language, libraries and book shops, magazines with lots of colourful pictures, epic comics, Japanese clothing, swords, lots of pillows with tassels. Turnoffs: Racism, chauvinism (nationalist or gender-based), big capitalism, philistines, boors, bigots, McDonalds, fat-free yoghurt, missionaries (for any religion, ideology or music style). Friends: People with whom I can share a moment of silence, with a quirky sense of humour, a tolerant mind, a tough skin and a big heart. Doggies!Enemies: Intolerant, insecure people who pick on those who seem weaker. Fundamentalists of any colour and creed.
OLD-TURKIC DEITIES Rafael BEZERTINOV From his book TENGRIANIZM – RELIGION OF TÜRKS AND MONGOLS Moon (Ai). Ancient Türks’ mythology regarded Moon as a daughter of Sky God Tengri and Earth. They perceived the goddess Moon dually: She frightened them and at the same time they loved Her.
The night is darkness, when the malicious spirits emerge from all holes. The rituals and hypnotic sessions of witches were always conducted according to the phases of the Moon. At night the illnesses amplified, causing more often deaths at this time. Robberies, murders are done mainly at night. On the other hand, the Türks trusted the magic force of the Moon. She was a sole night lantern. To please Moon those born during full moon were given names as such: Aisylu, Aituly, Ainir, Aizirek, Ainaz, etc. [or Ainur! - Ainur] The three phases of the moon also had their signs. It was believed that at ‘ai naazy’ (new moon) the moon symbolized a young girl, pure and modest. At ‘ai toly’, ‘tuly ai’ (complete moon) Moon personified a mature woman – mother. In this period she is good-natured and favorable. At ‘ai karty’ (old moon) the Moon aged, became wise, but quarrelsome and malicious. Before death Moon reigned in absolutely dark night. In these three nights, it was believed, life and death meet together. The old Moon died, a new one was born, and together with Her a new life, new cycle, new round was born. I found this interesting text in The Tatar Gazette. Read more about Tatars, a Turkic people, on my Tatarstan page.
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Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Which Muskehound are you?
 Which Muskehound are you? Ah! One of my favourite animated series at the age of 12 - "D'Artagnan und die drei MuskeTiere" in German. Puppies, swordfights, cardinals in nice red uniforms! The series was produced by BRB Internacional in Spain (D'Artacan y los tres Mosqueperros), but the lively animation style reveals its origins at the studios of Nippon Animation (Wanwan Sanjushi - ワンワン三銃士). I believe it was broadcast on Tele5, the same channel as Leiji Matsumoto's Queen Millennia (Die Königin der tausend Jahre), the first Japanese anime that I was regularly exposed to. I guess not everything that Berlusconi touched did turn into shit... yes, he was partly responsible for a family of tv channels in the late 80's - early 90's, which resulted in rare early anime addictions among European kids.
Posted at 10:48 am by ainur
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Wednesday, June 06, 2007
It's the only sensible choice, really.
The Battle Royale Strategy Test
Your Score: Shinji Mimura35 killer instinct, 64 independence, 92 sociability, and 64 rationality Shinji is an intelligent athlete with rebellious and freethinking tendencies catalyzed by his uncle who is a political activist. He joins up with his friends, Keita Iijima and Yutaka Seto, and the trio plan liberating everyone by blowing up the school where the administrators of the Program game are. Together they build a bomb and Shinji manages to hack into the government computer system. Their plan is ruined by Kiriyama who kills them, but is blinded in the explosion of the bomb.
What do your scores mean? - Your strategyYour high scores in independence, sociability and rationality suggest high changes of surviving, but it's almost impossible to win without killing anyone. You would probably try to come up with an escape plan with a friend or two just like Shinji, but you would need his vast knowledge and an amazing luck to succeed. Should the circumstances force you to play, you might prove to be a dangerous opponent - but more likely is that your dream of getting out without having to kill your friends eventually results in your death. Chance of survival: 50% Your complete opposite is Yoshio Akamatsu. You are similar to Shuya Nanahara and Shogo Kawada.
Posted at 06:53 pm by ainur
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Your Score: Katharine Hepburn You scored 23% grit, 28% wit, 42% flair, and 21% class! You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women. Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Posted at 06:21 pm by ainur
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Sunday, June 03, 2007
I was researching Dante's neglected Purgatory and decided to check where I would end up - in the case he was right. (and didn't just copy everything from the Muslims. Who, admittedly, could turn out to be correct, too.) Well, as you can read in the description below, limbo isn't so bad. What Caesar, the great murderer and panderer par excellence, is doing there I cannot explain. Aristotle's misogynism can only have been a bonus in this system. But I think I would enjoy the company of those cranky old men anyway - thousands of years in a cosmic kindergarden has probably developed their positive sides. You can also see that my dark side could be described as a lustful heretic with malicious tendencies. Luckily my virtues override my sins (or was I just pandering to the test-maker?). The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.
Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Take the Dante's Inferno Test
Posted at 11:55 pm by ainur
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Somebody wrote in my shoutbox at Last.fm that I was "almost multinational". Of course, that depends on what you mean by "nation". This notorious word has multiple meanings, depending on historical and linguistic context (and, unsurprisingly, national context as well). Nation in English can mean people, tribe, country, state, culture, political community or social community; it can be defined as voluntary or genetically determined. In our source language during that particular conversation, i.e. Swedish, nation has somewhat more limited meanings. Usually it is taken to mean "state", as in national state, because that is the context in which the word was introduced into regular Swedish in the 19th century. The connection between nation and state was made by German national romanticists looking for an answer to the challenge of the French revolution, when the citizen replaced the subject as politically active role for the people. France had the advantage of being a state before it became a nation-state - thus providing a fixed identity for the politically active people. "Germany" was a vague collective term for assorted kingdoms and small states subjugated to the whims of nobility. A national identity had to be based on something else than duties and rights in a shared state, because that state didn't exist. This "something else" started as a mystical "spirit", an image of shared cultural values and a common heritage across the borders, and was later sublimated to Blut und Boden, a literal biological relationship which shut out "non-Germans" and demanded a corresponding territory: even the soil was supposed to have a "German" origin. Without delving further into the problems that even today have their sources in those contrasting paths of development, let's look at Sweden. Similar to France, Sweden was a state before the development and spread of nationalism as a political project after the French revolution. Thus, even today, it is "natural" for many Swedes to associate nation with the state, and more specifically with citizenship and the duties and rights that follow. It is relatively easy for an outsider to gain entrance and participate in this state's affairs, although it isn't as easy as for an aspiring American, perhaps. However... No state is 100% free from the dark side of the nation. The French (revolutionary) ideal of a free citizen has been abused to denigrate those who are not yet "free" citizens - immigrants, refugees, foreigners. Similarly, the privilege of U.S. citizenship has been abused to elevate citizens above non-citizens even outside U.S. jurisdiction. And in Sweden, the citizen ideal has fused with a national ideal which assumes that Swedish-born automatically constitute good citizens, while foreign-born are classified into different degrees of assimilability according to the geographical location of their countries of birth... (As a citizen of Finland, and therefore belonging to the most privileged category of non-Swedes, namely citizens of the Nordic countries, I only had to wait 2 years after my last immigration in order to receive full Swedish citizenship. Needless to say, it was a mere formality, since Nordic citizens have automatic residence and work permits in their partner countries, and can even vote in local elections.) It is clear from the shoutbox comment that nation also has multiple meanings in Swedish. I have only one nationality according to the state definition: I am a Swedish citizen since 2000. But since I also identify with various other groups, more or less constructed around ideas of culture, language, ethnicity, I'm not viewed as entirely Swedish. It is difficult to separate the two definitions of ideal Swedishness: 1. The citizen/taxpayer Swede2. The ethnoculturally/racially pure SwedeMost Swedes will admit that 1 is a reasonable ideal and expect an immigrant to live up to it; many will deny 2 vehemently. But 2 also exists in people's minds, and that's the one that immigrants reveal when they disturb the Swedish wa*) by having an accent or looking and dressing "wrong". This applies, of course, to all nation states in the world. Some states just give a little more leeway to their citizens, and some people just cut each other a little more slack (see Canada). The Swedish definition of Swede is very narrow and based on a double standard. If your name is Pelle Svensson, your eccentricities will be tolerated more than if your name is Zuleika El-Badaoui (or Anna Svensson, since the ideal Swede - helpful, tolerant, hard-working - is a woman and the boys are always free to act a bit more crazy! In contrast to Finland, where the men have to play the strong & silent national warrior types, and the women can be as butchy or prissy they like). *) Wa (和) is a Japanese term. Imported from Chinese, "Wa" originally meant harmony, peace, balance. It was a guiding concept in Japanese philosophy and culture with dozens of subtle different associated meanings. It is considered as the most important Japanese value. It also refers to Japan itself or something Japanese (such as washoku (和食), which means a Japanese-style meal, or wafuku, which means Japanese-style clothes). In this sense it has, through the history of the 20th century, been a highly emotional and/or political concept. WikipediaI have seen this term being used half-jokingly by foreigners living in Japan, referring to their own feelings of discomfort when seeing other foreigners in their own "neutral" Japanese environment... A foreign face or voice breaks the wa in a subway car, apparently! An irrational feeling that I, too, have experienced, and a proof of the assimilability of people...
Posted at 03:11 pm by ainur
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
What Kind Of Meat Are You?
| You Are Duck | Exotic and unusual, you are a bit of a rare bird - literally. You're known for being soft and succulent, though at times you can be a bit greasy. |
Posted at 12:54 am by ainur
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Saturday, April 07, 2007
I've done a test like this before. But I prefer this result. ^_^ | Your Inner European is Italian! | Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is. |
Posted at 11:58 am by ainur
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Take a look.On Saturday, I'll be flying to Finland, and after a brief rest, I'll return to Sweden on Monday. I don't really want to leave yet. It's just starting to get exciting...
Posted at 04:00 am by ainur
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Friday, March 16, 2007
I'm visiting Japan for a few weeks. There are many remarkable things here, of course, but for some reason I'm intrigued by a few things that have been borrowed from my old home countries and are for some reason extremely popular here. Case #1: The Moomins. Case #2: Baumkuchen.  Der Baumkuchen is a German cake, native to the town of Salzwedel in Sachsen-Anhalt. (There are claims of Hungarian origin, while the Poles, who have a similar cake, mention a possible Tatar background.) It is not particularly common in Germany - it is called "the King of Cakes", but it is not something you would whip up one evening in your own kitchen. Similar to the spettekaka of Skåne (except in taste, which spettekaka doesn't have), it is rotated around a spit while the cake batter is being brushed on (as you can see in the images in the articles), creating layers of dough like year rings inside a tree. I remember having tasted Baumkuchen only once or twice while my family was living in Germany in the 90's. In Japan, however, you can buy a slice of Baumkuchen (or just バウム, "Baumu" for short) in almost any supermarket or corner konbini. (One of the mysteries of cultural cross-pollination.) Now to the sad part: Often, the Japanese supermarket Baumkuchen does not taste like Baumkuchen. It is far too sponge-like and tasteless, much like other baked goods in Japan (either moist and tasteless or dry and sawdust-flavoured - Pocky, anyone?). It isn't even covered in chocolate. I remember Baumkuchen as quite dense and thick, and delicious. The Japanese climate might not be favourable to the structure of the cake batter. (However, I just ate a slice of green tea-flavoured Baumkuchen which was okay. But it's still not Baumkuchen...)  Here, they've put an apple inside it. Why??? The explanatory text says something about "natural" and "Madagascar"... On the other hand, Germans should be flattered that their neglected dessert inspired so much creativity, since the wildest design they themselves came up with was probably back in the days of Kaiser Wilhelm I: For the occasion of the court's hunt in Letzlingen in 1878, a baker delivered a Baumkuchen decorated with a "wonderful hunting group made of Tragant, and at the top, the Prussian eagle", whereupon the Emperor awarded him with a Royal Warrant of Appointment. Japanese Baumkuchen blogThis looks more like the real thingBaumkuchen no himitsu"Look at the fuwafuwa no keeki!" - No, Baumkuchen is NOT supposed to be fuwafuwa. (Boribori, perhaps?)
Posted at 03:16 am by ainur
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Dealing with Sergei's death. I read a little about Buddhist animal symbolism, and found something interesting about the pig (boar, sow, barrow). I imagine Sergei and Mitsu in their graves flanking my mother's garden as guardian statues around the entrance of a temple. In Nepal, the Kathmandu valley is guarded by four sow-headed deities. In Buddhist symbolism, the pig (along with the rooster and the snake) is one of the three animal symbols of the main causes of delusion and clinging to the samsara. The pig represents desire and attachment, as opposed to the snake (anger/aversion) and the rooster (ignorance/indifference). Why the snake and the rooster symbolise their respective qualities is a bit mysterious to me, but it seems obvious why the pig represents attachment. Pigs enjoy good food and friendly company, they love warmth and comforts, they are very cleanly, and can go to great lenghts in achieving what they want. In short, pigs are materialistic in a very human way, and a very endearing way, too. The pig should remind us that we, too, are animals, and this is a repulsive thought for some people who prefer the delusion of being somehow inherently different and superior. In Buddhism, there is certainly leeway for viewing the human being as superior, because it is claimed that animals in their state of ignorance (innocence?) cannot reach enlightenment. However, there is also a possibility of viewing animals as different only in degree, not in quality. It is said that animals do not have morals, but they have virtues. The humans, endowed with the capacity to plan for the future, not only for themselves but for the whole planet, have the duty not to hinder the animals from cultivating their virtues. That is - through cruel treatment and persecution of the animals, and the destruction of their environment, human beings cause great harm to their own as well as the animals' spiritual development. This is an interesting line of thought that seems alien to a Western monotheist brought up in the belief that animals only exist as objects within religion. On the other hand, some Catholic saints reportedly preached to birds and even fishes. I wonder how Christian theology explains that. Back to the pig. It represents human weaknesses, but the species' own natural strength and qualities are used in a more positive way. The guardian goddesses of Nepal have boar heads because "besides the usual totemic and generative aspects associated with the sow, the throat and head evokes the characteristic ear-splitting cry of the pig". This cry has the power to shatter illusion. It is also "the squeal of compassion". Shock therapy has something in common with certain Buddhist ideas of the enlightenment process... What attracts me in Buddhist imagery is how perceived ugliness becomes sublime beauty. The fierce-looking, world-devouring Mahakala - the Great Black One - is a teacher of pain and suffering, but also aims to show the way out of the wicked circle of samsara. There are no evil demons to be avoided at all costs. The most terrifying ones are the most compassionate teachers. The small and insignificant ones are the greatest masters. The pig's tusks and snout, rooting the dirt, save the world in a Hindu myth. If only the myth could be translated to deeper respect for the pig in our own world... one of the many animal species that sacrifices its own flesh and blood for humanity. If we cannot show respect to the victims of our own greed, we don't deserve to live off their lives at all. I'm a sinner, I eat meat on occasion. This is a problem for me. I have to learn to put my own greedy pig inside on a diet. After all, we didn't let Sergei eat pork either, although he'd have liked to! All for the sake of his spiritual development, of course...
Posted at 04:00 pm by ainur
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